Dolce far niente–the sweetness of doing nothing.

I decided to take a break from my perfectionism series to practice a bit of what I preach.  Have you seen the movie, Eat, Pray, Love starring Julia Roberts?  There’s a great scene when she’s in Italy–actually a couple of great scenes that I’m referring to.  First, she’s sitting by herself, outside, at a restaurant and orders spaghetti and red wine.  To wonderful music, she has a love affair with her spaghetti.

Fast forward to visiting with her friends in a barber shop when she learns a new phrase–“dolce far niente,” the sweetness of doing nothing.  “The Italians are masters of it.”  And we Americans–well, we Americans–we don’t know “jack” about it.

So, I was in Chicago this week for work.  The conference was over at noon and my plane didn’t leave O’Hare until 5:15, so I had time to walk a bit and have a nice lunch.

I sat in an outside bistro, with a glass of red wine and a plate of spaghetti (gluten free, of course) and had my dolce far niente moment.  I think the Italians are onto something.  🙂

On July 4, 1776 The Continental Congress approved the final wording of the Declaration of Independence memorializing the, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” prose of governing philosophy that later got expanded and articulated in The Constitution of the United States of America.  And today, 237 years later, 50 states strong we still stand.  One hundred and fifty years ago yesterday, the battle of Gettysburg concluded with the largest number of casualties of the entire war–an estimated 46-51,000 from both armies died in the three day battle.  The battle was being fought to preserve our union of united states, and some would say over the phrase, “that all men are created equal.”

During World War I and II more brave men and women lost their lives to strike down tyranny and let liberty and freedom prevail.  How important is it that we recognize just how lucky we are?  How important is it that we express gratitude and appreciation for the men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice that we may live free.  That men and women of adult age have the right to choose their leaders.  That men and women of all ages have the right to freedom of speech.  That men and women of all ages have the right to secure an education.  That men and women of all ages have the right to walk and travel freely around this beautiful land of ours.  How lucky?  Just ask the people of Egypt this morning.  Just ask women who have been oppressed by the Taliban.  Just ask people of African American heritage who have great, great, grandparents who were slaves.

We are very, very lucky and so incredibly blessed.  “There By the Grace of God go I.”  Amen.

I have become a rabid fan of the PBS mini-series Downton Abbey.  I purchased Season I and II and have watched all episodes repeatedly.  There are so many classic scenes and the story line is fascinating.  Of course, I’m such a fan of English Literature–Austen, Bronte, Dickens and this story is based in England during the years 1912-1920 (so far).  Season III gets underway in January of 2013 (I don’t know if I can wait that long!!!).

The story line, for those of you who don’t know it, depicts the English class system at its “finest.”  The plot is centered around the characters that live and work in a grand estate of Lord Grantham–the Lord & Ladyship, their three daughters and the Lord’s mother–The Dowager Countess of Grantham.  Of course, the story line also includes a cast of servants including the butler, head housekeeper, the lady’s maids, valets, cooks, etc.  I tell you all this in way of background for a classic quote by The Dowager Countess, played by Maggie Smith (Professor Minerva McGonagall in the Harry Potter series and the Reverend Mother in Sister Act).  In fact, you ought to have a look at someone’s top 10 quotes by her in this series.  I’m not sure if you’ll have the same appreciation for them if you haven’t watched the program, but I couldn’t stop laughing at most of them being familiar with her character.  She’s as sharp as they come and has a wit to match with anyone’s–and her sense of delivery is classic.  See that youtube video here:  Dowager Countess Quotes

Anyway, during the second season, World War I is winding down but two of the series characters are wounded–the one, unfortunately, fatally.  The Dowager Countess and one of the daughters is meeting with the doctor to secure his transfer back to Downton Abbey–essentially to die at home.  The soldier’s father is there visiting with him while the doctor, the Dowager Countess, and the daughter discuss his prognosis.  The soldier’s father joins them in conversation maintaining hope of him getting better and remaining oblivious to the severity of his son’s prognosis.  When the doctor deigns to discourage him, the countess interrupts and says, “I shouldn’t worry too much.  We’ll know much more when he’s rested.”  When the father returns to his son’s bedside, Maggie Smith’s character says to the doctor, “See sometimes we must let the blow fall by degrees.  Give him time to find the strength to face it.”  She was telling the doctor to “Let it Be.”

“We must let the blow fall by degrees.”  We can’t absorb it all when bad things happen.  We can’t understand why.  We search for answers but often come up empty when we are in the midst of dealing with crisis or tragedy.  “Give him time to find the strength to face it.”  I suppose this is why.  We summon strength through friends, faith, family, and/or our own reserves to deal with life’s difficulties as they occur.  And we grow stronger as a result…preparing us for more loss as life moves on.  We need a time period to “Let it Be.”

Rohr talks in Falling Upward about not being able to fast forward through the first half of life to move into the more spiritually mature second half.  We wouldn’t have the sea legs, the strength or the perspective to do it if we hadn’t had first half of life striving and successes.  “We must let the blow fall by degrees.”  Classic “let it be.”

The Right Honourable Tony Blair was an enchanting speaker at our local chamber event; I could sit and listen to that British accent all night long.   But, I really was paying attention and he said some interesting things.

• “I find it intriquing that we look for honesty and candor in our leaders and then we end up embarrassed or repulsed by it when we hear it.”  Referring to a story he told about George Bush’s remarks at the first G-8 summit President Bush attended.
• The  President of the United States is both the head of government and the head of state in the United States.  In Great Britain, the Prime Minister is the head of government alone.  The Queen is the head of state.  Even though the Prime Minister is elected into office, he/she does not officially become the Prime Minister until the Queen “appoints” him/her.
• He effused optimism.  Even though he continues grueling work on Middle East peace, he is optimistic at progress made.  “Don’t believe all the negativity you hear in the press.”
• He took the time to specially mention and recognize the Chamber’s three award recipients and he talked about leadership.  When he reflected on the topic, he said something like, “Everyone is insecure when they start down a new path or they’re placed in a new position.  The difference with leaders is they stick their necks out there and say, ‘I’ll have a go at it!'”

Isn’t that what’s important?  Instead of doing nothing and wallowing in pity over some situation or life event that has happened to us, shouldn’t we take that approach–“I’ll just have a go at it!”  We’re so afraid of failing.  We’re so afraid of criticism.  And, yet life’s richest rewards often come as a result of the lessons we learned through the failures we’ve experienced.  We just can’t give up.

“I’ll have a go at it–how about you?”

At our staff meeting this morning, my boss was discussing his daughter’s wedding this past Sunday in Baltimore.  Cold, rainy, ugly.  He said he was questioning God and how his devoted daughter should end up with such a lousy weather day.  He then reflected on how God gives us blessings through troubled times – when things are not so perfect.  It reminded me of a song “Blessings” by Laura Story where she says:

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

WOW!  That verse brought me to tears.  Thank you, M.A.!  The trials of the last few years and the resulting strengthening of faith and good friendships like yours have made me a different person.  I will always be grateful.  I appreciate your commitment to SWOGblog and your contributions to it–both directly (sharing these examples) and indirectly through your support and sharing with others.  I remain committed to continuing the dialogue!