OK, if we stay with the same theme that these two phenomenons previously described cause so many of our woes or lead to our triumphs–that is, Phenomenon #1:  Thoughts lead to feelings which lead to our behaviors which lead to others reactions, and Phenomenon #2:  Between stimulus and response there is a space; in that space lies the power to choose our response–then let’s look at something that we as women do incessantly (although men can be good at this, too).  We worry.  We worry about everything.  We worry about how we look.  We worry about how others perceive us.  We worry about how we’re going to do our jobs.  We worry about whether the holiday meal is going to come off okay.  We worry about our children.  We worry about our parents.  We worry about the new business ventures we’ve started.  We worry about money.  Oh, those thoughts–there they are again.  Those worries almost always (by the nature of the word “worry”) have a negative slant.  So those worries lead to negative feelings which lead us to do things (behaviors) that may not always be in the best interest of whatever it is or whomever it is we’re worrying about.  Track your conscious thoughts during the day.  How many of them have a negative, worrying type of characterization to them?  And what do you do with those thoughts?  What behaviors do they lead you to?

I just traveled to Australia in December and a favorite saying of theirs is, “No Worries.”   If you bump into them and say, “Excuse me,” they say, “No worries” often accompanied by, “Love.”  If you apologize to them for some perceived harm you’ve caused them, they more often than not say, “No worries.”  What a great saying!  If you have a spiritual side, most religions teach the ills of worrying.  “Who of you by worring can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” –Luke 12:25-26. 

I have historically been one of those who worried about everything.  And, unfortunately, I can site examples of how worrying led to non-productive behaviors.  Please, I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t be conscientious and put our best foot forward.  I’m also not saying we shouldn’t be cognizant of others feelings, but let’s do that from a place of positive thinking versus worrying.  The latter feels more outwardly focused versus worrying which seems more inwardly focused.  This is all about strength with grace.  Anyone out there who can elaborate on this more articulately than me?

Stephen Covey writes in his book, First Things First, “Between stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space lies the power to choose our response.  In that response lies our freedom and growth.”  I sincerely believe understanding how our thoughts lead to our behaviors and understanding Covey’s principle  can lead to living a much happier more grace-filled life.  Let me work on  explaining this more fully over the next few days/weeks.

Our thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behaviors (choices–see below) which lead to reactions from others.  Ever read or watch “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne?  So often we let our thoughts lead to negative feelings, which lead us to behaviors/choices that get us in trouble.  If we can change our thoughts–we can make different choices which lead to better outcomes.  Who has an example?  I have a ton of them–particularly the ones where I wish I thought something different before acting on the feeling.  More tomorrow!


“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”

Margaret Thatcher

The more I live–the more I learn.  The more I learn the more I realize the less I know.”

-Barbara Streisand from A Piece of Sky